Tide Tidbits - June 30, 2008

Give Saban a break
Satan is the epitome of evil, right? Well, some have been calling a very successful college football head coach just that. Of course, we’re talking about Alabama's Nick Saban.

Looking at Bama vs Clemson
While there are certainly question marks at linebacker and problems on the offensive line, it's not like Clemson is playing in the SEC.

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Bama Quote #059

John Croyle spoke at a prayer breakfast in Anniston sponsored by the Fellowship of Christian Athletes. He started talking about his first days at Alabama and how he felt pretty cocky being a defensive player. Early in practice Coach Bryant came down from the tower and said that today we were going to separate the wolves from the sheep. Coach Bryant started calling out names for one on one drills. "Croyle," he barked. Croyle lined up, confident he was a wolf. Coach Bryant barked out another name, "HANNAH!" Croyle said the largest hairiest thing he had ever seen lined up across from him...the whistle blew, and Croyle screamed I'm Blind, I'm Blind... After a pause, Coach Bryant walked over, said "Croyle stop your whining" and then turned my helmet back around to the way it was supposed to be - with the hole up front.

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You Might Be... #063

You might be a Tennessee fan if...

• You have a subscription to Hound Dogs Today.
• You practice fishing off your front porch.
• Your belt buckle trips the airport metal detector even when you aren't at the airport.
• You wouldn't dare go anywhere without jumper cables.
• All your wall decorations have horns on them.

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Bama Joke #071

Q: If three Tennessee football players are in a car, who is driving?

A: The police officer.

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Bama Quote #058

"Tough times don't last, but tough people do"
-- Coach Bryant

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You Might Be... #062

You might be an Auburn fan if...

• Your wife's arms got so big from pushing your car.
• You clean your hands daily with gasoline.
• You have your wife check the depth of the water before you drive your truck through it.
• None of the tires on your car are the same size.
• Turning on your lights involves pulling a string.

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Bama Joke #070

Q: What do you call an Auburn fan with half a brain?

A: Gifted!

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Tide Tidbits - June 24, 2008

McElwain calls shots for Tide's offense
Q: There's spring ball, and there's spring ball in Alabama. Tell us what that's like.

A: I gotta tell you, coming out into that stadium when we had our spring game. I don't know what they listed it this year - 75,000 to 80,000 fans - but that's a far stretch from Dornblaser, where we used to play when I was at Missoula Sentinel. I thought maybe there was a NASCAR event going on, but they were there to see spring practice. That just shows you the passion people here have for their football and for their Crimson Tide.

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Bama Quote #057

John Croyle came to speak at a Baptist church in Centreville, AL a few years ago. When he got up to speak, to break the ice, he asked how many Alabama fans were there, and then how many Auburn fans were there. He then asked the Auburn fans to line up single file to his left, and holding out his hand said they could come by and see what a national championship ring looks like.

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Tide Tidbits - June 23, 2008

Saban on Clemson, scheduling and 7-on-7s
In fact, Saban and his assistants have spent some time on each of Alabama’s 2008 opponents. The Alabama staff actually began its work with another set of Tigers — Auburn.

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You Might Be... #061

You might be a Tennessee fan if...

• Your school colors are camouflage.
• Your horse lives in a better place than you do.
• Your chili's secret ingredient comes from a bait shop.
• Your gun safe is bigger than your refrigerator.
• Your retirement plans include getting your own place.

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Bama Joke #069

Q: What do you call a 210 pound Tennessee cheerleader?

A: Anorexic.

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Bama Quote #056

The story goes that Linnie Patrick wore a headband to practice one day. Everyone thought Coach Bryant would tell him to take it off. But instead Coach Bryant told Linnie he could wear the headband... or he could wear his helmet, but not both.

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Tide Tidbits - June 20, 2008

Saban says hello... and gives some player news

After a mid-summer hangout session with Alabama coach Nick Saban, there is some news to report. And while most of it is personnel-related news, it also wasn't bad to sit down with the guy, chill out for an hour and just talk. Good times...

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You Might Be... #060

You might be an Auburn fan if...

• The cottage cheese container in your refrigerator holds night crawlers.
• You make your wife ride in the back of the truck so the dog won't get sick.
• Your first pet was a chicken.
• The National Guard had to be called out to your last family reunion.
• You drive 600 miles to see an image of Elvis that has miraculously appeared in water stains on the ceiling of a trailer.

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Tide Tidbits - June 19, 2008

Richardson hopes to emulate idol Emmitt Smith
Alabama recently landed a commitment from one of the top running backs in the country, Under Armour All-American Trent Richardson. Yet it's his equally impressive humility and drive that make him even more attractive, traits that separate Richardson from other elite prospects with similar physical talent.

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Bama Joke #068

Q: What do you get when you drag a $1,000 bill through a housing project?

A: An Auburn football signee.

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Tide Tidbits - June 18, 2008

Top prospects attend Tide summer camp
The University of Alabama held its first summer camp last Sunday through Wednesday, bringing in several prospects from across the country. The majority of the talent in Tuscaloosa came from around the Southeast, with many of the Tide’s top targets in attendance. Several of the players were eager to talk about their trip to the Capstone.

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Bama Quote #055

We were getting whipped badly in the first half. At halftime the players were bracing for a classic Bryant chewing out, but instead, he went off in a room by himself and said nothing. When halftime was over, he walked into the players room and said: "Okay ladies, lets go"... that was all it took, he got our attention and we won the game in the second half...

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Tide Tidbits - June 17, 2008

Inside Info on the Summer Workout
Lots of good news coming out of T-town (a lot of this is via marquis johnson). The guys are working their butts off. Saban has essentially hired a 2nd coaching staff and given them all sorts of titles that allow for them to be out there coaching the incoming freshmen and teaching them all the defensive schemes. They are doing serious, intense practices. Reports of a few players.


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You Might Be... #059

You might be a Tennessee fan if...

• You use your daughter's wedding as an excuse to buy a new shotgun.
• You think Liberation was that funny-dressed guy who played the piano.
• You've talked to your mama on the C.B., but have never met her in person.
• The sound of a siren sends your family running for the woods.
• You shave your legs with your husband's fishing knife.

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Bama Joke #067

Q: What’s the difference between a Tennessee cheerleader and an elephant?

A: A couple of hundred pounds.

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Bama Quote #054

"He wasn't just a coach, he was THE coach."
-- USC coach John McKay about Coach Bryant

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You Might Be... #058

You might be an Auburn fan if...

• You wear overalls to save on the cost of shirts.
• You rip a loud one and blame your date.
• Your veterinarian is also a taxidermist.
• You know your daddy's C.B. handle, but not his real name.
• Your bowling ball cost more than your college education.

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Bama Joke #066

An Auburn football player was bragging to a group of co-eds that he finished a jigsaw puzzle in only 3 months. One girl said, “Three months? You’re proud of that?” The player said, “Yep. On the box it said 4-6 years.”

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Bama Quote #053

"I don't want ordinary people. I want people who are willing to sacrifice and do without a lot of those things ordinary students get to do. That's what it takes to win."
-- Coach Bryant (Alabama Illustrated)

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You Might Be... #057

You might be a Tennessee fan if...

• You own a monogrammed minnow bucket.
• Your truck has ever been the scene of a crime.
• You play pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey and get 4 teeth knocked out.
• You've ever plucked a nose hair with a pair of pliers.
• You have to wash your hands before you go to the bathroom.

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Bama Joke #065

Q: How do you keep a Tennessee football player out of your yard?

A: Put up a goalpost.

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Bama Quote #052

"He was simply the best there ever was."
-- Former Nebraska coach Bob Devaney describing Coach Bryant.

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You Might Be... #056

You might be an Auburn fan if...

• You made a cheat sheet for a hunter safety test.
• All your tupperware is old butter containers.
• You've ever stood outside a bathroom and heckled someone who was inside.
• Your riding lawn mower has cup holders.
• Your toothbrush has been in the family for generations.

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Bama Joke #064

Q: Why did they build a new automobile factory near Auburn University?

A: Because of the endless supply of crash test dummies down the street.

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Bama Quote #051

"Even his peers in the coaching business felt in awe of him. He had such charisma. He was just a giant figure."
-- Joe Paterno discussing Coach Bryant on ESPN Classic's SportsCentury

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You Might Be... #055

You might be a Tennessee fan if...

• You own all of the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
• You fix holes in your truck with duct tape.
• You proudly display a collection of automobile-shaped cologne bottles.
• You go to the ear, nose, and throat doctor to have your finger removed.
• You think Roe vs. Wade deals with boat ownership.

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Tide Tidbits - Jun. 04, 2008

Does Alabama finally beat Auburn in ‘08?
"For those who weren’t aware, Tommy Tuberville’s Auburn Tigers have beaten the Crimson Tide an impressive 6 times in a row – including four times consecutively at Bryant-Denney Stadium. This year, Alabama will be in much better position to beat Auburn with Nick Saban entrenched as the head coach in his second year. Alabama may also be able to take advantage of the Tigers’ change of personnel with new coordinators Paul Rhodes from Pitt and Tony Franklin from Troy, whom each bring different schemes to their side of the ball."

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Bama Joke #063

Two Tennessee football players were walking in the woods. One of them said, “Look, a dead bird.”

The other looked up in the sky and said, “Where?”

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Tide Tidbits - Jun. 3, 2008

Bama Picks up 6th Commitment
Trent Richardson, a 5-foot-11, 220-pound running back from Escambia High School in Pensacola, committed to Nick Saban and the Crimson Tide. A four-star recruit and ranked Rivals' 28th-best prospect in the Class of 2009, Richardson ran for 1,377 yards and 15 touchdowns as a junior last season. He chose Alabama over LSU and Florida, the schools considered at the top of his recruiting list.

I have updated the 2009 Recruiting Class.

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Bama Quote #050

"His nickname was Bear. Now imagine a guy that can carry the nickname Bear!"
-- Joe Namath on ESPN Classic's SportsCentury series.

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You Might Be... #054

You might be an Auburn fan if...

• The school principal has your number on speed dial.
• You've ever thrown a tailgate party at a tractor pull.
• You've ever borrowed chewing tobacco from your wife.
• Your property has ever been mistaken for a recycling center.
• Your horse can count higher than you.

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Bama Joke #062

Q: What is the most common phrase used by a former Auburn football player?

A: Would you like fries with that?

Roll Tide!