Bama Joke #107

Q: Do you know the directions to Auburn?

A: South to you smell it. East till you step in it.

Roll Tide!

Bama Joke #106

Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of an Tennessee fan?

A: A Tattoo!

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Bama Joke #105

This Auburn fan walked into a store and asked the cashier if he had a hanger or something to unlock his car because he locked her keys in the car. He nodded and handed him a hanger. He thanked him and went outside to set to work. A little while later the cashier decided to check on him and saw him working at it and another Auburn fan in the car was saying "a little to the left...no, a little to the right..."

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Bama Joke #104

Q: What's the most popular show in Knoxville?

A: 90 Minutes. They have to slow it down to half speed so they can understand it.

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Bama Joke #103

Q: Why do migrating birds fly upside down over Auburn?

A: They figure there's nothing down there worth leaving droppings on!

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Bama Joke #102

Q: How do you keep a Tennessee girl from biting her nails?

A: Make her wear shoes.

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Bama Joke #101

Q: What's made of metal, plastic, rubber, and glass and comes in 5000 parts?

A: A used car in Auburn.

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Bama Joke #100

Q: What's the difference between trash and Tennessee trash?

A: Absolutely nothing. They both drive around in trucks, smell like fecal material, and get more and more rotten each day.

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Bama Joke #099

A group of tourist looking at some dinosaur bones asked the museum guard how old they were. The guard, who happened to be an Auburn graduate, replied “3 million, 2 years and 7 months old.” “That’s a very exact number, how do you know so precisely?” the tourist asked. “Well, the bones were 3 million years old hen I started working here 2 years and 7 months ago.” answered the guard.

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Bama Joke #098

Q. How can we tell that the toothbrush was invented in Tennessee?

A. Had it been invented elsewhere, it would have been called a "teethbrush."

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Bama Joke #097

Q: Hear about the Auburn fan who took his girl to the zoo?

A: They wanted to keep her.

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Bama Joke #096

Q: What has 98 legs & 49 teeth?

A: A Tennessee Volunteer pep rally.

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Bama Joke #095

Q: What do you call a dead pig sitting on a tractor that won't start?

A: The Auburn Homecoming parade.

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Bama Joke #094

Q: Know why the girls don't play 'Hide 'n Seek' in Knoxville?

A: Nobody would look for them

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Bama Joke #093

Two tourists were driving through Alabama. As they were approaching Opelika, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked an Auburn grad, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? This is a quaint little town. Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?" The Auburn grad leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr, gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing."

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Bama Joke #092

Q: What is the difference between a Tennessee cheerleader and a catfish?

A: One has whiskers and smells; the other is a fish.

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Bama Joke #091

Q: How many Auburn fans does it take to roof a house?

A: Depends on how you slice 'em.

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Bama Joke #090

Q: What does a tornado and a Tennessee cheerleader have in common?

A: Both eventually end up in trailer parks.

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Bama Joke #089

Q: Why don't Auburn fans eat barbecue beans?

A: Because they keep falling through the holes in the grill.

Roll Tide!

Bama Joke #088

Q: How many Tennessee football players does it take to eat an armadillo?

A: Three. One to do the eating, and two to watch for cars.

Roll Tide!